Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Well, well, well...

I've had a realisation this week; with a little help from my friends. You know how your friends can say they've been telling you something for years but you hear them but you aren't listening? Well this has happened to me. And now I'm listening.

The realisation? I sabotage relationships. When I first started contemplating this I was thinking that maybe I do do this, but after spending the weekend away from my normal life (Sydney) and with a very good friend who reminded me of all the times I have done this in the past, I now realise that yes, I do do this, and I have been doing it for years and didn't even realise until now. I never once thought that this was something I do. I often hear of other people doing this; in the movies, in other people's blogs etc, but never once did I think 'I do that'.

I've been wondering lately why attached guys seem to be the only guys who are interested in me. But, I now realise that is not the whole case. I give myself to them and I let them in because they are safe. I know that the relationship will never even become a relationship, it is already doomed from the start; and I know that I will never do anything with them, it will never become more than a friendship, but at least I won't get hurt and I'm in control.

When I meet a nice guy I always find some reason for it not to work. And they are usually silly reasons, for example... He has blonde hair. He's an inch shorter than me. He is younger than me. He is too enthusiastic!! Like these traits really matter in the scheme of things?! I often think that no man ever likes me, but they do, I just don't let them. I have all these rules and as soon as one of them is broken, it must 'mean' something, and I end it. I make the rules up as I go, so I can break them as I go too, whenever I like.

Of course there has been times when I've liked a guy but they haven't felt the same way about me so I suppose it does balance out a bit, but I am just amazed that this has been going on for so long and I haven't seen it until now.

I read the Bossy blog on www.news.com.au every week and even Bossy was giving advise on the same kind of problem, so it must be my time? I've been 'told' three times in the last week, and now I'm listening.

So next time someone asks me why I'm still single, I can tell them, instead of saying "I don't know, don't you think if I knew I'd do something about it". And that's what I'm doing, stopping what I was doing and starting to do something new. I am going to stop the reinvention of the cycle.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

English accents, over-enthusiastic men and yummy food

I don't know what to write about, so let me tell you about a few things that have been going on in my life lately and see if we can make an interesting post out of it!

Ok. This week I took my profile off the dating site. I don't know if this is normal or not, but I just can't get into it. Is it because I'm flirting with someone else who is not on internet dating... I think that has something to do with it. But nothing can happen between me and this other person, so I should just get right back on there shouldn't I?! I have been emailing another guy though, from the dating site, but he's starting to annoy me with his over enthusiasm. Why is it that when we want someone to be interested they aren't and when they are interested they are 'too interested' and annoying? So this guy I've been chatting to on email sends me a couple of really long emails a day, so I said to him that I can't cope with more than one of these long babies a day! Ha! And then we started to chat on messenger; I thought this would slow the long-winded emails down, but now he's emailing me as well as waiting for me on messenger every day. Yesterday we chatted for about an hour on messenger and he sent me 5 emails!! And then asked for some more photos of me.... and said 'do you think it's weird that a guy wants to look at a pretty lady all day?' Um, yes! So I haven't answered yet.

I also had a friend of a friend staying this week - she was passing through from Sydney to London and knew a couple of people here in Perth so decided to stop by for a couple of days. It was so nice to see her, and has made me a bit more excited to see our mutual friend this coming weekend when I go to Sydney. I miss their accent, and it makes me miss London...siiiggh. So we went out for St Pat's Day (as you do) and got a bit merry; it was fun, and I don't know how long it's been since I've been out 'drunk' on a Wednesday night! Probably not since Steve's days.... Oh, they were the days too... I also went out for drinkies the Friday before with the work crew and also managed to get a bit merry there. For those of you who know me, will know that I don't ever drink very much, and as this was my first work crew drink-off (as I've only been with the group for about 6 months and am a huge believer of keeping work and social life separate) they just wanted to get me drunk! And then I proceeded to tell work people things I shouldn't. This is why I don't drink often around work people...and other reasons, but I think we get the gist....

A few months ago my cousin and I started up a Dinner Club where we go to a fancy restaurant once a month and live it up. We get dressed up, drink nice wine, eat lovely food and spend probably a bit more than we'd usually spend when we go out for a meal. So we've each invited some of our own like-minded friends to join our club and this month it ended up being only girls attending - so lots of laughs and a great night was ensured! We went to In Contro in South Perth. I haven't been for a couple of years, but I will say that out of all the restaurants we've been to so far, our meal at In Contro's last night was the best. A bit pricier than the others, but SO SO SO delish!! And I highly recommend it. (Any of you Perthian's may have heard In Contro's in the news recently because Daniel Kerr had his wedding reception there). And I just have to plug the Spanish Style Curry as being the best curry I've ever had!

So far the list is as follows:

Nine Fine Food
Oceanus
The Red Herring
The Grand Palace
In Contro

And last but not least. Another plug. I'm so into the long-line tops that have come out this season. For once, I'm up with the fashions and not a season behind. So I had a little spend up yesterday and bought some leggings and long tops. Hopefully I'll look the part when I go to Sydney this week - or maybe I'll start a new fashion trend over there...haha, I'm so funny!

Until next time...

C xx

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Life is like riding a bicycle - in order to keep your balance, you must keep moving.

So I'm back on the cycle...when will it end?

My life goes in a cycle, month to month; year to year. I'm bored with my life, I want to change something, I post a profile on an internet dating site and see if I can meet someone. I might meet a few 'nice' guys but never guys I actually click with, I go on a few dates but then for one reason or another it doesn't work out; I go back to internet dating and there's not much interest. I get bored but push on, this time I want to make a real effort. There's not much interest out there, everyone seems boring - what do I want? I'm bored, I think I might take my profile off, its just not working for me. I still check my internet dating account and I'm getting 'nudge' after 'nudge' and email after email. What's with that? I'm not interested anymore!

I think I think that my boredom comes from being on my own, but now that I think about it, I don't really know if that's it or not. I tend to hear about a lot of people choosing this path in life. Do they think life is better on their own, or is it not by choice after all? Sometimes I think I would choose to be with someone as opposed to being on my own...but...I also think, when it comes down to it, I don't know if I want to be in a relationship... I still want to be able to do as I please, flirt with whoever I want etc. And I definitely can't fit another body in my little apartment (unless he came naked which I'm not opposed to at all). Am I just bored of this cycle? I think so! So for a temporary fix, I'm changing my hairstyle! But it's obvious I need to do something else.... Maybe I don't need a Mr Right, just a Mr Right Now - someone who can help with little jobs around the house, but who will still let me go out and have my single life. Is there such a thing?!

If anyone has any real life experience in this; would love to hear from you!

xx

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Summer lovin'

So this weekend in the West has been one busy weekend, and full of new adventures, thoughts and feelings.

On Saturday I went on my little Island Adventure and had a surprisingly good time - and I'm thinking now, why don't I do that more often? There were no fearful bike riding expeditions; I had my first swim in the ocean in a long time; wore bathers in public for the first time in a long time; fell in the ocean out of the tender for the first time ever - and received a lot of cheers in the meantime :); and today I have bruises in very unusual places and skin off my knees...from I don't know what, but overall I had a good time!

And Sunday was spent at birthdays and celebrations. Sunday night I witnessed a very close, long time friend tie-the-knot with her girlfriend. It was so lovely to see so many people there who accept the love they have for each other; I am so glad I could be a part of their special day. I also discovered something about myself I never knew....will this open new doors for me?

It seems to me that people in the gay community can find their special someone a lot easier than those of us who are straight. Why is this, or is it just me who thinks like this? Is it because the gay community is a smaller community than the straight community, therefore they have less options? Or is it because they really do know what they want and it's easier to come by, than with someone of the opposite sex? Or is it even about choice? Every gay person I have ever met has also been so happy, so confident and so sure. Anyway, whatever it is, I am very glad to say I have gay friends. It is opening my eyes to a brand new world - A very fun any happy world. xx

Inspiration

It feels like my life is revolving around blogs a the moment. Ever since I decided to write this blog, everyone is doing the same.

I read blogs that I follow every day and then some that I stumble upon when trying to find some inspiration and doing research. I watched the film Julie & Julia today which is about a girl writing a blog on her mission to cook her way through a French recipe book and of course there's Carrie Bradshaw with her column on SATC. Blogs are everywhere. But they are inspiring and I just keep thinking, maybe one day a newspaper will ask me to write a column...

So, while I've been exploring the world wide web I've found quite a few amusing sites and blogs that I thought I would share with you.

There's this chick at More is Better who just wants to meet everyone on the planet, and likes to talk about herself in third person, is crude, funny and calls a spade a spade. From reading this blog you will also find some other interesting sites she follows, such as www.textsfromlastnight.com which is a site that random Americans send their random text messages in for random public viewing. This site has actually taught me something about American college students; they are all sex crazed, alcoholic, pot smoking, lunatics! Are our Uni students like that?? Another site I found today while looking for some inspiration is www.confessions.com.au. You can confess your sins to the world, anonymously! How good is that?! And I have already put it to good use... I've also seen mentioned somewhere a site on 'guess her beaver'. You see a photo of a fully clothed girl, and then you see a photo of her unclothed. It's bizarre - who sends in pics of themselves like this for all to see? And how many actually get it right - landing strip, brazillian etc? And I bet you are all wondering what kind of inspiration I get from sites like these too... How not to be a sex crazed maniac, or where not to send photos of my beaver, or why drunk dialing is never a good idea...

But I also get my inspiration from my gorgeous friends and of course my life experiences. This blog has made me think more about everything, and writing this blog has become quite therapeutic; I'm loving it, and I hope you are too!