Tuesday, April 20, 2010

About a girl

This is a note about a friend who I went to school with. She was my best friend at school, we were great friends for about 7 years. We lost contact after leaving school and mixing with different people, studying different things, moving to different parts of the city and then different countries but I always thought of her and wondered how she was and where she was and what she was doing.

In the time we grew apart from each she went on to get married and have three beautiful children. We've seen each other once in the last four years, and kept in touch via emails/facebook etc but it wasn't until the last three years or so that I really started to get to know her.

In the last three years her little girl, her only daughter was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma. Neuroblastoma is a cancer of childhood that grows in the nervous system. Her name is Imogen. Imogen doesn't have much longer to live.

Since Imogen has been fighting Neuroblastoma, her mum has been writing a blog for her, a blog which I believe is her way of dealing with the monster killing her little girl. Through this blog I have learnt that my friend is the strongest person I know and a person I am honoured to say is my friend. I feel like I know her family without having met them before. Imogen is the perfect little girl, only 5 but yet so grown up for her age, so full of life, so bubbly, so caring for her mum and so beautiful.

Over the past three years I check in to see if the blog has been updated on a weekly and monthly basis; each time hoping that there is some good news; that Imogen has won the fight against the monster. She has been in remission and we all hoped for the best, until the last hurdle a few months ago when she relapsed and was given only months to live.

Over the past few months, I have checked the blog on a more regular basis, and recently a daily basis, as we wait for the pain to end and Imogen leaves our world and continues on with her journey of making such a massive impact on other people's lives. A journey of sunshine, love and laughter.

I think of my friend and her family on a daily basis and wonder how she does it. She is the most amazing woman I know. We are the same age yet I can not imagine having to deal with the things she has had to deal with in the last three years. So this is to my friend; you are one amazing woman and I can only hope that one day I will have a slither of the strength and amazing attitude that you have. I'm very sorry that you have to go through this pain, I just hope that the pain ends for you soon; Immie will always be in our hearts - you should be proud of the little girl you brought into this world. xx

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Mr Nice Guy vs Mr Not Going To Happen

After my realisation the other day, I teed up a 'meeting' with a guy I had been chatting to from RSVP for a while. We had been chatting on messenger for about a month; we had tried a couple of times to tee something up but it never eventuated. This is Mr Nice Guy. He's a nice guy, can't fault anything - he has a 9-5pm job, great social life, and great friends by the sounds of it. A close family, he drives a car (albeit, not a Holden...), he's polite and onto it (organised our first 'meeting' without even blinking), we have a nice, easy conversation - so what more could I ask for?!

This weekend I'm seeing him again, for our second 'meeting'. My turn to organise; just the movies and a bite to eat afterwards, something easy and casual. So I'm trying very hard not to find that reason to 'sabotage' this...thing we have going here. Although, I can already think of reasons, I'm just pushing those thoughts to the back of my mind and trying not to think about them.

Last night I had a drink with Mr Not Going To Happen. We get on so well, lots of laughs, talk about everything and everyone, little bit of flirting etc, but it is not going to happen. Why? Because he's already taken. I get it but I don't get it at the same time. I know I said in my last post that I think I go for these guys because I open up to them, let them see the real me - no holds barred, but I just can't be like that with potential suitors for some reason. Why?! Am I scared I'm not going to like what they see/hear? But Mr Not Going To Happen likes it, so why wouldn't Mr Nice Guy? I just need to relax, I know that, but gee, it's hard changing your ways after so long of being that way.

So lets call it a date. I'm going on date number two with a potential suitor and nice guy, tomorrow night. Wish me luck!