A Crush

You know when you are younger and you have a major crush on a boy from school and all you can do is think about him; day dreaming all day long, thinking what you will say when he looks your way; day dreaming about your first conversation, your first kiss, when he'll ask you out on a date...

I used to get major major crushes when I was at school, and felt like everyone must know about it and I would go out of my way making sure no one knew. Well, I haven't had any of those feelings towards a guy for such a long time, I can't even remember the last 'crush' I had on someone.

I'm always looking for that instant click, attraction with someone; but I just can't find it. Will I ever get it again or is it something that fades with age, is it only a school girl thing?

How do you know when you first meet someone if it is worth giving a shot when there is no initial spark and how do you know that if you decide not to give it a shot, that you've made the right decision and you are not lucking out on something that could be fantastic? How much of a go do you need to give it before you give up? This is one of my dilemma's in life because I don't want to miss out on meeting that special someone because of my impatience or indecisiveness. Have I already met him, am I going to get another chance, or is he still to come?

People say that you just know when you have met the one. I think I have "known" on a few occasions that he was the one, but then he wasn't and I look back and think 'what was I thinking', so...how do you really know?

See, I'm getting impatient. I'm sick of waiting! I just want to get on to the next chapter - meet Mr Perfect, build a life together, have kids and live in my dream home. Is that too much to ask?