Sunday, May 29, 2011

Time to Think

I haven't been writing much lately and I think that's just because I haven't had much time to myself. Sometimes I find that I just get carried away with life in general, and I forget to have time to think and be with myself - even though I do have a lot of 'me time' doing things I enjoy like reading and cups of tea at cafes etc; it's not time out from the world where you are not doing ANYTHING. I think most of the time I don't even realise I am missing this time to myself. I bet a lot of people never have this time, but because I need it, I feel it when I miss it.

I'm originally from the country and a family person - I really value family time and just being myself and being able to relax and I suppose they are the people who I can totally be myself around and don't even have to try and be someone else. Like if I want to just sit back and listen to the conversation going on around me I can, I don't feel like I have to participate. Lately I have been seeing my family quite a bit what with long weekends and Mother's Day but this week I've really felt like I needed some family time. So when I realised I didn't have any plans on this weekend, I couldn't wait to get in the car and drive 2 hours to the country for the weekend.

Driving those 200 kms doesn't feel like anything to me; it's like I'm back in the country in a blink and I think that's because I like my me time and am not afraid of being on my own or with my own thoughts at all. I actually value it, and am wondering if people who are like me, like this, and get to have this time thinking are different to those who don't and don't even realise they are missing something so valuable in their lives.

I mean, how often do you get to have a couple of hours of time on your own where you aren't doing anything productive, or listening to conversations around you, or reading, or wandering around the shops, or waiting for someone? Although during my drive home I was concentrating on driving and the road in front of me, I had 2 hours each way of thinking time. Not only then, but this week I have also started walking home from work again which is giving me an hour of time in my own head each day that I don't normally have. It hasn't been until this week that that I've really realised how much I miss this time and needed it.

It's allowed me to re-evaluate my dreams and hopes and what I want for my life - and now that I'm back in the real world I just have to put the hopes and dreams in place. It's also allowed me to think through some things I've been getting angry about this week but I've realised that they are someone else's issues not mine; whereas last week I was happy to avoid the situation although it was making me look like the one with the problem. You can only guide other people, but they are the ones that make the decisions - it's their life after all. So coming back to Perth today I feel so much better about things and am ready to get in and tackle my life head on.

I've also had a change in job in the last month. In my last post you would have seen how miserable I was in my role, but since then I've moved in a totally different direction that I didn't realise I wanted, but now that I'm there I'm so happy and feel that I've totally made the right decision. I don't think I realised how unhappy and unsettled I was; I knew I had to do something but I didn't know what it was and was feeling a bit lost - it was also affecting my personal life and where I thought I wanted my life to go. Having this time to think and new direction in my work-life feels like it has worked a treat and I'm looking forward to getting stuck into things and making a start on making things happen. And I even seem to have a work/life balance at the moment!

So with all this thinking going on and all this time to get any aggro feelings out of the way and get on with my new positive outlook; having a new job and new direction in my work life to grow and build from, I feel so much better about things today and am really looking forward to whatever is coming next.