Disheartened

I’m sick of meeting men from internet dating sites and then finding them not to be what I expected.

I’ve tried all sorts of scenarios now – chatting for a week or so before then meeting for coffee or a drink. Chatting for a short period of time before dinner. Chatting and then talking on the phone before meeting in person. And none of them seem to help me in my mission to meet Mr Wonderful.

What about meeting men not from internet sites, I hear you say? Well, I just don’t meet men that way, and if I do I feel I get to know them too well that I don’t want to go out with them, or I work with them, or I know their ex etc etc.

Last night I went on date number 87 (or so it seems). Let’s call him CaringGuy. We have a lot of the same interests, he said he had a sense of humour, he is nice looking, he likes pets, is studying to further his career, has a full time job, part owns a house and he drives a nice car. Yet, the guy I thought I was chatting to was cheeky, into motorsports, triathlons, sporty and down to earth, a leader, and career driven, blokey, but sensitive at the same time, with a dog. And somehow these two men are different men in my mind, but the same on the wonderful world wide web.

I find no matter how long I chat to someone on line, I tend to build my own profile of what they are really like in real life. Hence, when someone says they are into motorsport I think of them as blokey, good with their hands and likes to tinker in car engines yet it really means he likes to sit on the couch and watch Formula 1 for days on ends. When he says he loves taking his dog to the beach, I’m imagining a border collie, kelpie or golden retriever running with him on the beach and catching balls; really he means taking his Chihuahua to sit and watch the waves crash from the dashboard of his car in the beach car park. When he says he’s studying to further his career, really he means it’s taken him 3 years to do a 2 year course and he has been having a break for the last 6 months, and he still has another 3 years to go. When he says he owns his own house, he really means he bought his exes ex boyfriends share of her house who is now his ex and he’s lumped with the house and mortgage until he sells it. When he says he’s been divorced for 5 years, he really means he’s been divorced for 5 years but only single for 4 months.

Why oh why wonderful world wide web can’t I meet a guy who is who he says he is and why can’t I just go with that instead of imagining him to be my version of that? When do we just accept what he says is gospel and just go with that – no expectations and all that? Maybe when I stop knowing what I want?!