Ugly Fat Man who Snores, Sweats & Smells Bad Seeks Cinderella

Dear Mr Potential

It's one thing to write your own profile but have a friend check it, compared to having a friend write your profile for you. Do you think we're not going to know when we start chatting to you on email and you can't string a sentence together or don't know that the spacebar even exists?

Your profile was sounding great until I got to this sentence, "I know some chicks find this important, so can I sheepishly say that I've been told and noticed I'm good in bed, but I have to feel comfortable with you. Now how arrogant do I feel!" And there are some chicks who hate any mention of bedroom activities when they are looking for a serious relationship. Why would anyone write something like this on a serious dating site? And then I get to the last sentence, "Preferably you have never been beaten, abused or traumatised by family, friends or previous partners!" Wow, you're really selling yourself... this profile is definitely going to stick in my mind.

It's amazing how many guys say "I love a good chick flick". Now really - do you think we believe that? You love long walks along the beach, cuddles on the couch in front of a dvd on a Sunday arvo, (what, instead of the footy?). All these things sound great, but we don't want to hear what you think we want to hear, we want to know the real you.

And another thing, it gets boring reading about how you hate self promoting and talking about yourself - well hello, this is internet dating, how else are we going to learn about you? And secondly, there's no point saying "I've never done this type of thing before..." or "Internet Dating is not my thing and I hate to say it's resorted to this.." Yeah good one mate, makes the rest of us feel great too... Do you think that because we have done internet dating before it makes us less of a person? Wow, you're really winning me over...

Unfortunately we are never going to know if what we read on someone's internet dating profile is true, it's hard for all of us, so lets make it as easy, truthful and polite as possible. Nothing wrong with using your brain, and some manners. But then again, I suppose that's why we are all different, what's important to one person, is different for the next. Goodluck!

Regards, Miss Potential