The Year That Was (aka 2010)

So, the year I hoped to create a better life for myself is over and done with. And it was a crappy year, really. Crappy love life, crappy worklife, crappy money woes. But it was the year I realised and learnt a lot about myself.

I learnt that to create yourself is not something that is going to happen over night or in one year, or is not going to happen by the things you do and see and make yourself do, in a way; you are creating yourself everyday of your life; creating and learning. By making yourself do new things, meet new people, you are in turn creating new ways of learning new things about yourself (does that make sense?).

Looking back at last year, I have learnt that I wear my heart on my sleeve - BIG TIME. And although I fall hard, I have just as much to give to the right person. Although the one relationship I had last year is not the relationship to take me into the new year, and many years to come, he came into my life for a reason. He taught me what I don't want, and concreted what I do want in life and in a partner. He reminded me that I won't settle for just anyone, and I am better off on my own than being in a relationship where I don't know if I'm Arthur or Martha. Although it was a crappy time, I'm glad to have done it and experienced it and I hope I have become a better person for it.

Last year was also a pretty stressful time for me work-wise. Just plodding along in a job doesn't do it for me anymore, and I have learnt that if you don't speak up, you will get shafted! Nice girls don't get the corner office, after all. This year I'm going in knowing what I want out of my job and how I'm going to get it... Stay tuned!

And lastly, first full year of owning my own home...well, after 14 years of working and not ever really saving much but doing everything and anything I wanted, when I wanted and living life spontaneously, this year I learnt how to budget, and that I HATE RESPONSIBILITIES (although as it is a part of growing up I am open to it) !!! But ok, I know we need to start somewhere, and I've started. Being too broke to put petrol in the car, or go out even just to the movies or having to eat beans on toast for the last week until pay day is gone - I GOT A PAYRISE (and I'm going to save some of that payrise every month and plan for my future - I want to be one of those 'financially stable' people you so often hear about) !!!

I'm feeling good about 2011. This is MY year. I am already in the process of losing weight - we are on day 8 of 365 days of 2011 and I've already lost 1 kg (albeit, many more to come) and changed my daily lifestyle to include a healthier way of living, I have created a budget that matches my salary and is not $1,500 more than what I receive in my salary each month (as was last years') and I have bought 'stamps' (those in the know will know what I'm talking about here) and I'm going to start initiating contact with men and being more assertive in all things Courtney - no more Miss Shy who sits back and waits; look out Universe, here I come!!