Eat So They Can

Over the holidays when I had time to watch day time television, I was watching a cooking show where one of the contestants was talking about a charity she works for, Eat So They Can.

Eat So They Can is an international fundraiser that invites citizens of the world to participate in what is collectively one huge dinner party 16-17 October 2010. People from all over the world will host a meal and ask their friends and family members to make a donation towards ending child poverty.

All donations will go towards GVN Foundation's Global Fund to support children, women, emergency relief and anti-trafficking initiatives. GVN Foundation is an international charity that is working to end child poverty around the globe.

Please join me and consider hosting an event yourself. Follow these steps to get started!

1. Sign up as a host at www.eatsotheycan.org
2. Log-in to your host page using the username and password which you will be emailed. Click ‘Modify My Event’ so that you can upload your photo and add information about your event.
3. Invite your friends and family to your event by sending an email with a link to your host page.
4. Organise your event making use of all the great resources you will be sent by the ESTC team such as our DVD, posters, fact sheets, stickers and event ideas.
5. Host your event!

So that's what I'm going to do, I'm going to host my own dinner party, for 30 or so people, pool-side. And I'm really looking forward to it.

Come and join me and host your own dinner party; what better reason is there to share food with your friends and family and helping those less fortunate than ourselves.

Sign up today!

The Year That Was (aka 2010)

So, the year I hoped to create a better life for myself is over and done with. And it was a crappy year, really. Crappy love life, crappy worklife, crappy money woes. But it was the year I realised and learnt a lot about myself.

I learnt that to create yourself is not something that is going to happen over night or in one year, or is not going to happen by the things you do and see and make yourself do, in a way; you are creating yourself everyday of your life; creating and learning. By making yourself do new things, meet new people, you are in turn creating new ways of learning new things about yourself (does that make sense?).

Looking back at last year, I have learnt that I wear my heart on my sleeve - BIG TIME. And although I fall hard, I have just as much to give to the right person. Although the one relationship I had last year is not the relationship to take me into the new year, and many years to come, he came into my life for a reason. He taught me what I don't want, and concreted what I do want in life and in a partner. He reminded me that I won't settle for just anyone, and I am better off on my own than being in a relationship where I don't know if I'm Arthur or Martha. Although it was a crappy time, I'm glad to have done it and experienced it and I hope I have become a better person for it.

Last year was also a pretty stressful time for me work-wise. Just plodding along in a job doesn't do it for me anymore, and I have learnt that if you don't speak up, you will get shafted! Nice girls don't get the corner office, after all. This year I'm going in knowing what I want out of my job and how I'm going to get it... Stay tuned!

And lastly, first full year of owning my own home...well, after 14 years of working and not ever really saving much but doing everything and anything I wanted, when I wanted and living life spontaneously, this year I learnt how to budget, and that I HATE RESPONSIBILITIES (although as it is a part of growing up I am open to it) !!! But ok, I know we need to start somewhere, and I've started. Being too broke to put petrol in the car, or go out even just to the movies or having to eat beans on toast for the last week until pay day is gone - I GOT A PAYRISE (and I'm going to save some of that payrise every month and plan for my future - I want to be one of those 'financially stable' people you so often hear about) !!!

I'm feeling good about 2011. This is MY year. I am already in the process of losing weight - we are on day 8 of 365 days of 2011 and I've already lost 1 kg (albeit, many more to come) and changed my daily lifestyle to include a healthier way of living, I have created a budget that matches my salary and is not $1,500 more than what I receive in my salary each month (as was last years') and I have bought 'stamps' (those in the know will know what I'm talking about here) and I'm going to start initiating contact with men and being more assertive in all things Courtney - no more Miss Shy who sits back and waits; look out Universe, here I come!!

Stories of Achievement

You probably all know that I follow the Bossy Blog from the www.news.com.au website, which, come every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I can't wait to get home to read the Dear Bossy posts. Last week I had my spirits lifted from their normally good/balanced state to a proud and overwhelmed state; overwhelmed with positive feelings.

Last week Bossy asked all her followers to comment on their achievements in life. Usually the blog brings about negativities and problems that need addressing, but for a change there was so much positivity in the reader's comments, it was fantastic. And I want to share these posts with you.

The 'winning' post can be found below, but please also visit Bossy's original post, because although this post by 'Dragon' won the Red Balloon prize, I think everyone who contributed should be very happy and proud of their achievements.

I have a fantastic relationship with my family and a wonderful son who gives me reason to be proud of him every single day.

I am kind, generous, faithful, honest, loyal, and an excellent listener.

I have great friends, and recently found the courage to walk away from a few who turned out to be not so great.

I moved countries at 21, bought my own house at 27 and owned it outright by 32.

I met the ‘love on my life’ at 30 then lived in an abusive marriage to a (since diagnosed) sociopath for 12 years before I finally realised that it WASN’T all my fault. I survived. I am still sane, and trusting and loving. The demons aren’t quite banished, but I’m working on it.

I have two investment properties. A decent car. Money in the bank, no personal debt.

I love my own company.

I can see beauty in small things.

I haven’t broken through the glass ceiling, but I’ve managed to deliver a hairline crack.

I have travelled to New Zealand, Bali, America, Canada, Singapore and Thailand.

I can hook up a trailer, change a tyre and a wiper blade and check my cars oil, water and air pressure all on my own.

I sometimes dream very specific things that later come true. Big time. And I don’t even believe in that stuff.

I read at least two books a week.

I am imaginative and eloquent. I write passable poetry, very good letters and everyone's resumes.

I can cook – no, really cook. Like Nigella!

I have a flair for decorating and people always love the ‘feel’ of my house. I have a green thumb and an acre of garden to prove it.

I can paint, take a good photograph, draw and sing, but I can’t dance, play an instrument, tell jokes or draw attention to myself in a crowd.

I can ride a horse at a flat gallop, obedience train a dog and house-train a pig. I am not afraid of snakes, rats, toads or spiders.

I can use a screwdriver, a drop saw and a shifting spanner.

I once saved, rehabilitated and trained a starving horse that everyone else thought would die, and then donated the beautiful result to Riding for The Disabled.

Next year I am starting my own business.

...and I am a great-aunt as of about 2 mins ago so I’m out of here!

What are your achievements?

Why do 'men' seek the services of prostitutes?

Why is it such a taboo subject? As someone said to me to day, when your car breaks down, you seek the services of a professional mechanic to fix it, so why not seek the professional services of a prostitute when your sexual activity frequency has broken down? So what is so wrong with that?

Is it only us fellow women that it makes feel squirmish and disrespected, or do some men feel the same. Are there only a requirement for this profession because of the men who already use this service, or do prostitutes actually like their jobs? Do they not feel degraded at all?

Who uses the services of Prostitutes? The types of men we all hear about: Men who are unfaithful, single men who want some love and attention, men who have a lot of money, men who want some 'no strings attached' fun. But have we ever really thought about WHY? Could it be because we women are so high maintenance these days? Are we women who must be cared for by a man and seen as otherwise helpless in life? Always needing attention and demanding the security of our man? While a lot of us will see this as an exaggeration, thanks to the old fashioned ways of the world and publications such as "The Good Wife's Guide", society has conditioned men to believe that this is true, making their relationships suffer when it comes to a man who wishes to have his needs met.

What does a prostitute do? A prostitute acts as a slave to a man’s needs. An actress, although to the man, he doesn't care that what he is receiving for his money is a one-sided play and an act that he gets to be nothing but a prop in. This is the man’s time to shine and get whatever erotic behaviour he has in mind – no questions asked, no strings attached and no need to reciprocate. A prostitute is sought out when a man wishes to let go and selfishly indulge in his desires without having to give anything back to the woman who performs for him.

So what it comes down to is a weakness. Men acquire prostitution because they cannot handle what is expected of them as men and want to be entirely selfish in their actions even when what society shows most women to be is false. Prostitutes are wanted by the men who don’t want to sexually please their wives or even care about her desires. He does not want to be in a relationship; instead, he wants someone who will make him look like a “family man” who cares about and loves his family so he can get a few votes from the 'boys'. He wants this while he can also go behind his wife’s back and get his needs met while constantly complaining that his wife wants too much from him.

My advise is to find a man who is strong, committed, honest and trustworthy. A man who you are comfortable enough with to know he will treat you the same, as you deserve to be treated. And a man who knows how to treat a lady right and is a real man; a real man who has no shame in showing it.

A Woman's Intuition

You've probably heard the saying 'trust your instincts' but do you ever really listen to what your instincts are telling you, or do you just fob them off?

I think I am pretty in-tune with my body and my instincts and what they are telling me; but sometimes I don't want to listen, even though I am hearing them loud and clear. And sometimes I don't hear them until later on and then I look back and realise that something was wrong but I just wasn't picking up on it for whatever reason.

Like the times you have a change in your weight; either a loss or a gain that is unusual, or when you have bad skin/acne problems etc., or your moods change, or you feel uneasy around someone etc.

Or say you know someone and there are little inklings in the back of your mind that don't seem quite right about them but you can't quite put your finger on what is actually wrong.

Or when you are seeing someone and they say the sex is great but you are not feeling the same and actually, you don't even feel them full stop! Or what about the fact they can't even get it up...do you think that might be a sign?

Or when they make such a big song and dance about a simple question; do you think that that is because they are lying? Like the time he invites a female friend to stay the weekend and wants a 'break' from your relationship because her 'Nana died' and he is asked where she was sleeping and he tries to make you feel guilty for not trusting him because he's 'not like that', when in fact he actually is and she shared his bed with him after all.

Not to mention the fact that he has no close friends, and doesn't let anyone in and is only 'friends' with people to use them and get what he wants from them. Or maybe the fact that he's out of work and has no money to pay the bills, is on anti depressants and has lost his license.

Maybe the fact that he splits with his girlfriend, the one he says 'I love you' to and wants to spend the rest of his life with and the same night proposes to his supposed 'ex, psycho girlfriend', Jacqui which only ends up lasting 3 days after she dumps his sorry arse, and who happens to have been on the scene the whole time, not to mention all the others...Anne and Sally to name but a few.

Sometimes you don't hear the things your intuition is telling you until you are ready to hear it. But thankfully for me, this time, I heard it loud and clear and soon got myself out of that situation.

A Crush

You know when you are younger and you have a major crush on a boy from school and all you can do is think about him; day dreaming all day long, thinking what you will say when he looks your way; day dreaming about your first conversation, your first kiss, when he'll ask you out on a date...

I used to get major major crushes when I was at school, and felt like everyone must know about it and I would go out of my way making sure no one knew. Well, I haven't had any of those feelings towards a guy for such a long time, I can't even remember the last 'crush' I had on someone.

I'm always looking for that instant click, attraction with someone; but I just can't find it. Will I ever get it again or is it something that fades with age, is it only a school girl thing?

How do you know when you first meet someone if it is worth giving a shot when there is no initial spark and how do you know that if you decide not to give it a shot, that you've made the right decision and you are not lucking out on something that could be fantastic? How much of a go do you need to give it before you give up? This is one of my dilemma's in life because I don't want to miss out on meeting that special someone because of my impatience or indecisiveness. Have I already met him, am I going to get another chance, or is he still to come?

People say that you just know when you have met the one. I think I have "known" on a few occasions that he was the one, but then he wasn't and I look back and think 'what was I thinking', so...how do you really know?

See, I'm getting impatient. I'm sick of waiting! I just want to get on to the next chapter - meet Mr Perfect, build a life together, have kids and live in my dream home. Is that too much to ask?

Ugly Fat Man who Snores, Sweats & Smells Bad Seeks Cinderella

Dear Mr Potential

It's one thing to write your own profile but have a friend check it, compared to having a friend write your profile for you. Do you think we're not going to know when we start chatting to you on email and you can't string a sentence together or don't know that the spacebar even exists?

Your profile was sounding great until I got to this sentence, "I know some chicks find this important, so can I sheepishly say that I've been told and noticed I'm good in bed, but I have to feel comfortable with you. Now how arrogant do I feel!" And there are some chicks who hate any mention of bedroom activities when they are looking for a serious relationship. Why would anyone write something like this on a serious dating site? And then I get to the last sentence, "Preferably you have never been beaten, abused or traumatised by family, friends or previous partners!" Wow, you're really selling yourself... this profile is definitely going to stick in my mind.

It's amazing how many guys say "I love a good chick flick". Now really - do you think we believe that? You love long walks along the beach, cuddles on the couch in front of a dvd on a Sunday arvo, (what, instead of the footy?). All these things sound great, but we don't want to hear what you think we want to hear, we want to know the real you.

And another thing, it gets boring reading about how you hate self promoting and talking about yourself - well hello, this is internet dating, how else are we going to learn about you? And secondly, there's no point saying "I've never done this type of thing before..." or "Internet Dating is not my thing and I hate to say it's resorted to this.." Yeah good one mate, makes the rest of us feel great too... Do you think that because we have done internet dating before it makes us less of a person? Wow, you're really winning me over...

Unfortunately we are never going to know if what we read on someone's internet dating profile is true, it's hard for all of us, so lets make it as easy, truthful and polite as possible. Nothing wrong with using your brain, and some manners. But then again, I suppose that's why we are all different, what's important to one person, is different for the next. Goodluck!

Regards, Miss Potential