Why do certain friends come along at certain times, why do they only stay a short time and not a long time and then others stay forever; why do they come at particular times, after something good or bad has happened, or a lesson has been learnt; why do our loved ones die; why are we sent curve balls, why doesn't life run smoothly; why does it seem some people have a hard life and others have an easy life?
I have been single for a few years and I sometimes look around at people who are in relationships and think 'how did she get a boyfriend?' or, 'if she can get a boyfriend, how come I can't?'. Have you noticed how some couples seem to be made up of a real bitch and a really nice guy, or vise versa. How does this happen? And why? People say to me all the time that I need to kiss a lot of toads before your prince comes along and most of the people who say this seem, to me, as if they've had a pretty easy life when it come to relationships. I wish they'd just stop saying this actually!
Sometimes I have to stop and think that maybe I'm not the one having the shitty time, even though it's affecting me, but maybe the time the other person is having is worse. It's hard to think like this when something that is happening in your life is affecting you so greatly. I used to live with this girl who in turn caused me a lot of grief because of whatever issues she was going through and I kept thinking 'why do these things keep happening to me?'. But are they really happening to me? Or maybe I'm the one who is making them happen?? And is it because I'm a bad person and deserve a bit of payback (maybe from a previous life) or maybe I'm just unlucky and keep getting in the way. Or maybe someone up there is sending these people to me to teach me things about myself, make me stronger and a better person. Is anyone else this lucky or maybe unlucky, where do we draw the line? Is someone looking out for me and sending me on a path of a great future, or are all these things here to teach me how to be a better person because there is something big coming up that I'm going to need all this experience to help me get through? Or am I just thinking too much... again?
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Generally people are who are bitches are bitches because they are just bitches and it has nothing to do with the person it is projected towards, and often it is because they are dealing with their own insecurities and it has nothing to do with you, they just need to stuff someone else around in the hope that someone else might also be suffering, to make them feel better for their own fcked up life...
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